Fat Girl Walking

Here it is. Alert the media, someone sound the the icecream truck loud speakers, and roll out the bacon strip carpet! ( I make a lot of bacon references don't I?) It's the day before I get banded!
Fat girl walking, people.
So I woke up this morning with mixed feelings of excitement and nervousness.
I can't believe the BIG day is almost here. My cupboards are stocked with protein powder for shakes, and soup broth. My fridge is empty save, apple juice, a couple bottles of water, skim milk and ice chips! Woop, woop! Sounds delicious right?
All that's left to do is pack my overnight bag,upload a movie or two to my ipad,buy a blender and take those hideous yet necessary BEFORE pics. I havent decided what outfit will display my muffin top in all its moxy goodness.
Hmmm? Horizontal Stripes, spandex, a one piece swim suit, a thong?  Or should I just go Biggest Loser style and take one in gym shorts and a sports bra?  *Shuddering at the thought*.  So many choices.

I heard someone say the Lap Band is a rollercoaster of emotions. I'd have to agree. However let me preface that by saying I'm a WHOLE moonpie. Seemingly hard on the outside but nothing but goo on the inside.  So I tend to tear up  fairly easily.
 I  think just like grief there are  many stages to the Pre-Op LapBand process. No, Im not talking about bloodwork and BMIs, pre-op diets, or the insurance three ring circus. I'm talking about the emotional obstacle course you stumble through. It starts with Excited Uncertainty Monkey Bars: I started by feverishly swinging... researching, joining forums,watching YouTube videos being excited then terrified, next I made my  way to the See-Saw of Doubt: Is this for me? Will the band work for me? Am I strong enough to follow through this process? Can I really do this? Trudging forward I 
Stubbed  my toe on the Swing of Shame:  * Why didnt dieting work for me? Do I accept the stigma assigned to WLS? Do I tell people? Do I not? Will they judge or support me?  Now you  may dart in between  the See-Saw of Doubt and the Swing of Shame, it's only normal, but once you realize that you are doing this for YOU and no one else. It doesn't matter. You are taking your life into your hands and deciding to make a change for the better, for YOU! (So if you're out there stranded on the See-Saw of Doubt, or the Swing of Shame. I'm here to tell you you, I've been there and you have made the decision to change your life. See it through!) and Finally I made my way to the Slide of Acceptance: There's an overwhelming feeling of positivity at this point. As I reached the end of the slide,my feet touched the ground, I stood up proudly, muffin top and all, feet planted firmly on the Platform of Yes and said          "Yup, this is me. I'm doing this!"

The skinny girl inside me did a cart wheel and even my Muffin Top jumped for joy.
A song for your ride down the Slide of Acceptance:

Until next time...

The Waiting Line

Today I looked at the calender and I'm only 6 days away. I'm not as anxious as I was a few days ago.

I recently joined a Lap band Forum and met fellow Bandsters @ http://www.lapbandtalk.com/.

There you can create a profile, talk to others about band related issues, locate a surgeon, and find BandBuddies ( Yay! for my Septemeber 29th Banders: Chula2B, DivaD50, RhiannonM ,and KristininCo) So I happened to pop into a Lap Band chat room and I came across AlienBandit, a fellow waygook and bandster in Korea. It was actually through her blog that I found my surgeon. We chatted for a bit and she reassured me that all the questions I had and anxiety I was feeling was normal. We talked about some of my concerns post-op annd what was to be expected.  It's one thing to hear from you Dr." Blah, blah, blah, you're fat, blah, blah, surgery, blah, blah mild discomrfort! blah blah blah sign here."

It's a whole nother thing to hear it from someone going through the same process as you. Someone who's been exactly where you are at this moment. Especially being banded in Korea,we laughed at the fact that Koreans are quick to call you "FAT!" but the minute you stop mowing down food,they're all up in arms. " You sick? You need to see a Dr. for your healt-suh" Oh Korea!

In the mean time, in between time my muffin top is demanding all kinds of ridiculous snacks. When I tell her NO! She talks back and puffs out proud a s peacock and thats no bueno for anyone.

As far as a pre-op diet,I wasn't prescribed one. I've cut back on my carb intake and increased my protein consumption, even though I wans't instructed to by Dr. K. Better safe than sorry.

Speaking of food, I've never been a calorie counter or one of those psycho daily weighers. Now I have become more concious of what I put in my body. I'm embracing the whole "my body is a temple " mantra. I've heard the saying " Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" . However,there are a few things this girl can't live without. I mean, I'm not going to mow down a pound of bacon fried bacon or anything, but I like a steak every now and then and I cant live without Cheez its ( They are my crack). Only if its just a small  handful.
A balanced and nutirtious diet is key. I look forward to finding creative healthy substituations for high calorie foods that I love.  The Lap Band is not a magic wand, *Poof you're thin!* It takes commitment and motivation. I'm not quitter so I look forward to the challenge.

I've decided not only is this going to be a blog related to my muffin top. and my lapband journey but M.T. and I have also decided to share some daily tunes with you along this journey.

Since the theme of today is waiting, here's Waiting Line by Zero 7:



Until next time...