XL, XL Read all about it!

Tank tops,pajamas, capris not plus size ! Oops oh my!

So the other day started out like any other Saturday. Lazing about for most the morning, making breakfast, a little exercise then my ritual weekend trip to Ross and T. J. Maxx because I love DEALS!!
On my quest for cute and shall I say reasonably priced home goods I detoured to the intimates section where I perused the holiday Pjs. Sad and a little sulky, because clearly I wasn't in the Plus Size section and I was looking at pajamas. I came across a super cute set. Black and white polka dotted cami/capri set with sheer straps and little chiffon flowers on the breast. Umm...I'm pretty sure those PJs were made with me in mind.
 I looked at the size (XL) I shook my head in defeat and reluctantly put the Pjs back on the rack.  There's no way  would fit them. The capris would be like biker shorts and the cami would be some "smedium", unflattering belly shirt! Why do I even bother I thought. * Yes I know a little pity party! Sometimes when you're in the thick of it. It's hard to see how far you've come. Im down from 341 to 270!!!  However, the scale hadn't moved for almost 2 weeks. I was a bit discouraged. Alas I looked at the price tag. Designer PJs for $16.99!!! " Well I could just buy them and put them in my "2 months from now pile." So decidedly I put those cutesy Pjs in my cart and made my way to the home goods section. As I was shying away from the clothing department a cape coat caught my eye. After my mini pity party and my baby pep talk I decided to try on the coat to see how much weight I would have to lose in order to fit it 20lbs? 30lbs? To my surprise I slid the XL coat on easily and buttoned it without strain. In disbelief I re-checked the size and thought this must be an irregular cut. So onward I went in search of another XL garment to see if maybe I was losing it or I really fit an XL.  I picked out a cute purple Calvin Klein dress XL and took it into the fitting room. It wasn't the most flattering cut of dress but it fit! I couldn't believe it. I've heard the saying "it takes a while for your weight perception of yourself to catch up with the reality of your weightloss" I used to laugh and think "there's no way you can't see yourself in the mirror. But its TRUE! Every morning I wake up get dressed and think "Eh not much change".
Later on that night I felt bold, so I took the tags off my XL pjs  which looked more like a Large and stepped into the capris, eyes closed and breath held. They slid on with ease. I opened my eyes in disbelief. Surely the cami wouldn't fit. Over my head it went and it was a bit loose around my mid section!!!  If ever I learned to do a cartwheel that would have been the time to show off but instead I did " the guns"~

 I thought I was delusional but  minutes later  there was a knock at my door. My little sister came over, who hadn't seen me in a few days and said "you're getting skinny as shit sister!" " WTF is happening? " Sister! Look at you !!!" "You're skinnier than when I saw you last time" She said in disbelief as she ran her hands up and down my abdomen and my sides where my love handles aren't sooo prevalent anymore. " 15 more lbs and you wont even have love handles! Shit you barely have them now" I thought about her statement and took a long look in the mirror. My arms lay flat at my sides.  Barely a bulge.  Maybe she's right. Tank tops and clothes I bought in Thailand a year ago are baggy. One of my tunics has become a full on dress. I take pictures few days to document the weight loss because clearly what I see in the mirror cant be trusted. I have mixed feelings about it all. I'm happy to be losing weight, but it's hard for me transitioning from being Plus size which I've been most of my adult life to a regular size.  No longer am I trying to hide behind my clothes. It's strange territory. I'm not complaining by any means. It's just a lot of change and it's a little scary.I'm on the edge of something exciting. I'm out of my comfort zone. Almost 3 months post op and my life has changed so much.  Im healthier, and a great deal more confident. 100 more pounds to go people! This journey is taking me on unexpected emotional twists and turns. Cornelius and my ever shrinking Muffin Top are along for the ride.  An XL! Ahhh I want to scream it from my balcony. Instead I tell all of you, meanwhile, me and my polka dotted Pjs do a happy dance~
                                                                Until next time band fans...

I'm in this kind of mood: Corrine Bailey Rae  Put Your Records On

Off the bandster wagon¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My name is Tiffany, I'm a terrible Lap-bander and my las workout was 2 weeks ago. (Insert bandsters' anonymous group : "Welcome Tiffany") But if you want to count the numerous times I've climbed my apt's stairs moving in, then Ok! *Trust me, it's a workout! The 4th floor is NO JOKE!

 I've been SUPER busy with my new job, buying a car, getting an apartment and adjusting to the ATL. 2 months post-op and I've fallen off the wagon. #SHAME However, I'm still watching what I eat and closely monitoring my calorie intake via myfitnesspal.com
 So I am happy to report, alert the media... I have a waistline. Woop,woop!
As it stands, I'm somewhere in between a 14 and a 16. Which is pretty darn good. So flash back to my last workout session:
It was me, kettle weights, my "I go hard" playlist and my favorite Old Navy workout sweats and my 2 piece tank.  My little sister's trainer came over and while he was waiting for her he showed me a few moves to do at home. He was nice enough to demonstrate, explain the benefits of the move and what muscles it targeted, then asked me to do them to check if I had the correct form.
After my sister and her trainer left, I threw on my best, put my hair in a bun, stood in front of the full length mirror and pressed play. A little Kanye's Workout Plan to get me revved up, other random hype jams such as Dev's Bass Down Low and Chemical Brothers' Block Rockin Beat came on and as my muscles felt they were going to give out I got a second wind finishing up with kettle weight swings and my closing crunches  to Onyx's Slam. Go hard or go home.
Later on that evening my sister returned from her session with her trainer at the gym and she told me he said " Oh your sister,she fine! She doesn't know it yet but Im going to whip her into shape." Davius is a bootcamp beast.

Flash forward to my 2 weeks of shame. Thanksgiving has past and we're into December. I am well on my way to achieving my goal of 260 for the new year. Now that I'm all moved in and settled with groceries! Yay! I'm going to get back to basics with  my blogging, gym work out and give Davius a call even though he scares me. I have to take a hiatus from the full body pics until I get my very own IKEA full length mirror. But I promise progress pics!

Okay my fellow bandsters. This one is for you!

Muffin Top, Cornelius, and I are leaving you with a little jam from my "I Go Hard" playlist.

The Chemical Brothers : Block Rockin Beats!

Until next time band fans ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Stuck in the Middle

"Stuck in the middle... Smack dab in the middle" this is not an homage to the Oreo commercial but rather Cornelius' new favorite ditty!
Well, I've finally experienced PBing. ( Or Productive Burping as most bandsters refer to it)
Let me tell you,  It's NO BUENO!!! Phlegm, the gurgles  and overwhelming need to regurgitate is not my idea of a good time.

288 lbs 11/8/11 53lbs lost

Cornelius has been more finicky than ever since returning stateside. I'm trying to get in enough protein and such daily,but it's been hard since my first fill. I better head to GNC for some protein powder.
I have even less of an appetite than before. I forget about my stomach, I forget to eat, and about FOOD!
It's crazy something that I felt comforted by no longer has the same therapeutic effect.
I've being working out, getting fresh air ,cardio, and walking a couple miles a day. I'm not comfortable enough to go to the gym yet, but I'm getting there. It's Hotlanta people. Less like L.A. Fitness and more like Club Fitness. I'm not ready to punish myself on the  elliptical machine next to Rosa Acosta look a likes! Baby Steps.
Real moment: Everybody cheats! Let's be honest.
Being in America with more food choices means more chances to eat crap as well. The other day I was craving something greasy. I had a cheeseburger from Wendy's. It took hours to eat half and it wasn't even satisfying.  I used to love to punish a cheeseburger deluxe and now it's more of a hassle. Honestly I'd rather have had a  grilled chicken salad or a turkey burrito. 
I dont know about anyone else, but I try to stay away for drinks high in sugar . Since Cornelius, I have WICKED cotton mouth any time I try to drink anything other than water, OJ, or homemade iced tea. Sper sweet beverages are a no go! YUCK.
However if you're in the mood for a min indulgence, Skinny Cow Ice cream which ranges from 100- 160 calories per serving container is a nice treat and its not too sugary. So if you have a sweet tooth skinny Cow is the way to go!
I know this is a way of life. I'm trying to find a balance between healthy participant in changing my life and weight obsessed. At times it can be difficult not to get so wrapped up in it, however I have a fantastic support system who keep my balanced.

Today I started working out with Kettle weights that my little Sis bought me! Gotta love having people in your corner.
So in addition to walking and Jillian 3 times a week I will now   include kettle weights. Those of you who know me, know I HATE working out,but I like the results I'm seeing in  just a week's time.  I look forward to pushing myself and becoming the Me, that I feel like inside, outside.

Constantly Under Construction.





So Corni, M.T. would like to share Shake it Out by Florence and the Machine:

Until next time...

1 month Surgiversary

3 days past my 1 month surgiversary and I'm feeling pretty good. * doing a little dance* It's been about 10 days since my first fill. It wasn't nearly as bad as I imagined it. Locating the port was a bit tricky but after that it was smooth sailing.  Every few days the most unexpected foods get stuck. Cornelius is a very flippant. Well I'm glad to report I'm almost out of the 290's.  Muffin Top is not impressed but hanging in there. Not bad for 33 days post op. 

 Im stateside with even less of an appetite than before the fill, but I'm trying to make sure I get those three protein packed meals a day. I started a workout regiment with my sister.

 Jillian Michael's 30 day Shred.

 It has three levels and  it's 20 mins of hardcore blood, sweat and tears. At 19 minutes Jillian was saying "Change isn't free and c'mon dont quit at the finish line" and all I could think was, I hate you Jillian!

 After the woozy light headed feeling passed I felt good. Note to self: Make sure I eat a little something before I work out. So I'm going to spend the next 30 days with Jillian. I'll be sweating my life away stretching and working muscles I didn't know I had. So to date I've lost 47 pounds. Which is a pretty awesome feeling. However now my clothes fit abnormally and there's only so much you can do with a belt. As of right now I'm living in leggings and my trusty long cardi. I'm not complaining I guess I'm going to have to rock tunics and tights for a bit. I am however looking forward to seeing results from working out though.

Today I woke up made a high protein breakfast, then shrugged on a pair of leggings , a tank, and my favorite green hoodie and walked 2.7 miles towards downtown Atlanta. Me? Almost three miles at a brisk pace.. who knew. I had my Iphone strapped on my arm , and I was jamming to my " I go Hard" playlist. Now all I have to do is figure out how to calibrate my Iphone with my Nikes. As I was on the last leg of my speed walk all I could think about is Jillian saying " It doesnt come free people, don't quit at the finish line" I pushed through it and ran up the 6 flights of stairs to my apartment. I'm committed to change. One day at a time.

A little bit of love from Muffin Top,Cornelius, and I
This one goes out to our new boo Jillian:

Until next time...

No Skinny Minnie

Each day that passes I become more comfortable with me. I find myself talking more candidly about my weight. Which I NEVER would have done before.I'm not as hesitant to take full body pictures anymore. I'm by far no Skinny Minnie, but I'm feeling good. Yes, Cornelius is a tool that has helped but it was me too. I make the conscious decisions about what to eat. I am the one putting in the work. I repeat to myself daily. "My body is a temple, treat it with respect it deserves. Rome was built in a day and neither will the perfect body be." I try not to get discouraged if the scale doesn't move. That's why now I only weigh in on Thursdays. It feels good not to have food rule my life.

I was watching a YouTube video about a woman trying to get to her goal weight. She said " I can eat anything,any time I want,  or I can be thin" I find this statement at times conflicting. I'm from the camp of finding healthier options. In my experience I  think it's better to not deny yourself, but to find an alternative. Now thats not n oink pass to eat a whole box of 100 calorie snacks but you know what I mean.

 It's like telling an artistic kid not to draw on white walls, he's going to do when you're not looking anyways. It's better to buy chalk board paint, designate  place on his wall and let him have at it.

It's all about compromise!

For instance this morning I wanted something sweet but I knew I needed something nutritious and filling to hold me until lunch. I cracked and egg ditched the yolk, added a little cinnamon and skim milk, and dropped in a slice of bread, and Voila! Low-fat French Toast!

I've had my great days and not not so great ones but over all I'm adjusting to this new lifestyle. I've had days when the scale didn't move and I got a little down. But thats to be expected. The key is to look at the weight you have lost, and and how far you've come. I'm a work in progress. Constantly under construction. 

In the spirit of change I leave you with Tracey Chapman's Change

Until next time...

All the cards

9/22/11 : 341 lbs and 10/16/11: 302 lbs

Last Thursday was my third follow up visit with Dr. K. I'm finally stitch-free! Woohoo!
The removal was a little painful. I also asked a few questions about this irritating pain below my port incision. After thinking about how to translate it into English, Dr. K's resident took out her trusty post-it pad and wrote. " Port will irritate soft abdomen tissue. Okay? ^^" I gave her the thumbs up and she added "sore maybe 2 more weeks" and smiled. So I guess the adjeoshi from my train debacle last week didn't unhinge anything.
As thy were cleaning incisions Dr. K said they were looking good and I probably will have minimal scarring if any at all! SWEET! I was nervous about my fill so I asked Dr. K how many CCs he was going to put in today. He said  " Why dont you hop on the scale so we can see" . Reluctant to hop on the scale because I figured I'd been on soft foods for little under a week and I thought that I wouldn't see much change from last visit. Down 1.5 kgs. Woop woop!  I smiled . The doc and his assistant put my new weight into the comp.  "Om my got!" the nurse said. "Ship pal kilo" I heard . I've lost 18kgs since surgery? My Korean isn't flawless, but did I hear her right? I did the math in my head 39lbs. Say what????? The nurses told me they weighed me the day of surgery ad I was a whopping 155kgs which is roughly 341lbs.  So I started thinking back to the weight I'd already lost coming to Korea. The number baffles me. So I put my clothes back on and as I came back into the room the whole surgical staff applauded me. Talk about a supportive surgical team! Koreans love for others to be skinny. As I went to pay my $7 co-pay my nurse told the staff at the front desk about my weight loss and they grabbed my hands saying congratulations and began to clap. Geesh! This is better than the Biggest Loser.  I thought to myself.  I made an appointment to get my first fill the following week under Dr. K's advice. The staff wished me luck this week in getting under 300lbs and waved goodbye. Feeling pretty good, I stepped into the elevator where I saw a surgical tech from my surgery day. " Oh you are looking to good these days! Your shape will be very GOOD in some months I think!" I smiled and said thank you as a nosey purple haired adjumma  tapped me on my shoulder and told me how very pretty I was. When it rains, it pours people! If I had been having a bad day my trip to Dr. K's surely turned it around.


I walked down the street in disbelief. Had I really lost 39 lbs? And why didn't I see what everyone else saw? I mean sure a few of my clothes felt a little loose but 39 lbs? I thought I should see a more significant change. I went home shrugged off the feeling and went about my day trying not to think about it. Why was I disappointed? I had lost the weight  of a small toddler in a mater of mere weeks. I guess those are some of the WLS emotional ups and downs.
 Today I looked at a smaller pair of jeggings I'd bought when I was stateside 10 months back gauging whether or not I could shimmy into them. I figured What the hell! Couldn't hurt to try. I put on my jeggings with ease and with room to spare!  I smiled and took out my favorite teal tank top. As I looked in to the mirror, my once snug tank top had become something like a tunic. So I tired a rope belt under my breast, gave myself one good look in the mirror and thought Now I see it! My first NSV ( Non-scale Victory) Fitting into my skinny jeans!

Doing the cabbage patch Muffin Top, Cornelius, and I are sharing Gwen Stefani's "Yummy:

Until next time...

The beginning of something beautiful...

My Dearest Cornelius,



I imagine this is Cornelius

 I'd like to take a moment to tell you, how much I appreciate you. I know this thing between us was sudden and yet out if it is blossoming a beautiful relationship. These past 13 days have been a rollercoaster of emotions.

when I stepped on the scale the other day and saw I had lost 20.3lbs. I thought IMPOSSIBLE!  I did the cabbage patch (backwards and forwards)! With you in my life I feel like my weightloss goals are now acheiveable. You're not some magic muffin top band aid. You make me want to be a better me. To treat my body as the temple it was built to be.

So for these things I say thank you. For your support and companionship.

This is the beginning of something beautiful.

Love,

Moxy

Ok so a little update. Cornelius, Muffin top and I have found a way to peacefully coexist. For the time being at least. My students and co workers have noticed my weightl loss, more so than I have. " Oh teacher you are looking slimmer these days" or " Wow the diet is making you more beautiful"
Only is Korea is this acceptable. I'm going to miss Soko . LOL
 In other news, I went to a follow up with Dr. K. My incisions are healing nicely. However I still have pain around my port incision, which I ve heard is quite normal. While braving the Korean subway after my last appointment where my stitches were removed, I was elbowed in the stomach by a rude adjeoshi. This might have had everything or nothing to do with the pain I felt an hour later. However after arriving home I felt an absolutely terrible pain when I walked, sat up, breathed! Ugh! Laying down was the only thing that made it feel better. I checked http://www.lapbandtalk.com/ ( my go to for LB questions)  I found out that fellow newbie  post-op bandsters were experiencing similiar pain.  Similar or not it was a bit much to endure at work. So with a bottle of Tylenol and my comfy desk chair I made it work this week. 
I've graduated to soft foods.  Yay! I go through eggs like I'm getting paid for it. If any of you are at a loss for recipes check out the Apps for All Recipes.com  especially the  DinnerSpinner!  I'm excited for Monday! Solid foods!!! Woop woop!  I'd have to say Im pretty proud of myself for sticking to the diet and making healthy food choices. I'm a calorie counting hoe. I dont want to become obsessed with the scale so I've decided to weigh myself  once a week. Thurdays are now Weigh-in Days! With my impending trip back state side I have to say, I'm excited to go back if for nothing more that the food options. One of the draw back of being banded in South Korea is a  lack of of options. What I wouldnt give for a Jello pudding cup  and Tex Mex Chicken Chowder :)
Tomorrow I go for my 2nd follow up appointment with Dr. K.He'll be removing the last of my stitches and giving me a fill. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I'm feeling good and ready for my fill!
Today Muffin Top, Cornelius and I are sharing :Use Somebody by the Kings of Leon


 

 Until next time...

And then there was Cornelius

So I've thought about what to name my band. At first I thought to name it "Felicia" but pronounced Fa-lish-a a sassy black woman with an obvious attitude problem. Who doesn't love sassy black women. But then I thought I'm sassy enough for the both of us. For inspiration I took a minute an listened to Lou Bega's Mambo #5 Song, *shame* on YouTube.  Monica, Erica, Rita, Tina, Sandra, Mary, Jessica... Nope!
Right after that the Ting Tings'  That's not my Name  loaded. So I took it as a sign and I did some real soul searching... then I thought wouldn't it be funny if my band was male. Not just any male, but an ornery,cranky, old, no nonsense fella named Cornelius and it just seemed to fit.
Henceforth I will refer to my band by the name Cornelius.
So it's me, my muffin top and Cornelius against the world! The three Musketeers of Weightloss. * i know Im taking it a bit far but what the hell!

To all of subscribed my muffin top lovers and by ALL, I mean my only one, don't think I've started dating a a cranky octagenarian named Cornelius when you see future posts entitled "My fight with Corni "or " My weightloss love letters to Corni". It's just my band!  Until next time..

On lockdown

Just wanted to drop a quick post to talk about the "lockdown".
I didn't quite fully understand when people said their bands were tight in the AM. Seeing how I hadn't experienced the constriction phenomena in the first 5 days,I figured I was an exception to the rule. Well let me tell you I woke up  this morning with the exception in my chest. Ugh! My band was tighter than a nun's knees during spring break at  co-ed Vatican camp.  My band was on lockdown and I was a little freaked out. So my smoothie breakfast was a no go until I got to work and made myself a mug of Jasmine tea which coaxed Cornelius ( that's my band's name by the way) out of restriction. Then it was smooth sailing the rest of the day. On wards to my delicious Strawberry protein smoothie from Smoothie King ( I know... I have a problem). Some days I don't even notice Corni. He works with me and I work with him. But today he was being a tight lipped old fart. Hopefully tomorrow Cornelius and I will have a nice sit down in the AM over a nice hot cup of Hazelnut coffee.

This morning my band was as tight as her pants.

                                                    Until next time....

You are what you Eat!

Do you believe that saying " you are what you eat?"
If thats the case, I'm going to turn into a bowl of soup or a Smoothie King smoothie any minute now.
So, I'm 5 days post op. Whew! How did that happen? One minute I was biting my fingernails hoping for the best with my surgery and thinking the worst. Now I'm making protein shakes,counting calories like a champ, and  getting back to my daily life.
The past 5 days haven't been so bad. Yeah of course there's the discomfort of the incisions and the port site but it isn't intolerable, for me. Every person is different, on how they heal, how they handle pain, lose weight, etc.  I was SUPER worried because stories I heard about surgical gas pain, epic heartburn, and chest pain post op. Luckily, I'm here to report I've experience non of those things. However I was finally be able to burp  post-op and it  has been the most AMAZING thing EVER! I never knew a burp could feel sooo good. Yay for flatulence!
I'm starting to feel more like myself again. Yeah a little achy, a little gas, and its hard to bend over,but other than than I'm pretty mobile. Sitting for long periods of time is a tad bit uncomfy but manageable.
I have a new ADDICTION...SMOOTHIE KING! Their protein packed smoothies are a nice respite from soup. FYI I'm a total Ipad APP geek, so if you're a tech hoe like myself get yourself a MyFitnessPal calorie counter. It's great! You can update on your mobile device or on your computer. Check it out: www.myfitnesspal.com. Trust me. I never thought I'd be that girl. Me? Recording calories ? You crazy!
But it seriously, it gives you a visual of where your calories are coming from, and keeps you on track towards your weight loss goal! I look forward to my first post-op doctor's appointment with Dr. K.
In other news, I'm proud to announce I've lost 3.3lbs! Yay! A small victory but a victory none the less.
 I used to be terrified to hop on a scale. So much, that prior to my Lap Band consult visit with Dr. K, I hadn't been on a scale in more than 2 yrs.
But now I look forward to my weekly weigh ins! It's funny how things can change with just a bit of perspective.  So with a change in perspective, and a step in the right direction I leave you with Aqualung's Something to Believe In

 Until next time...

Banded for Life

I, MuffinTop Moxy promise to love, cherish, and work with you. Through sickness and in health. In the good times, the bad times and the time in between.

So I'm one day post op. I'm here at the hospital. You've gotta love Korea for being one of the most "plugged in" countries in the world. Yay for Wifi in my room. They don't have ice chips but they have Wifi! Good to know they've got me post-op priorities in mind.

Yesterday afternoon I was given jazzy hospital issue two pieces capri set complete with surgery tights.* Don't worry I took a picture. My abdomen was shaved and I was ready for the big show.I was escorted down to the surgery suite which looked like a knock off of Dr. Frankenstein's laboratory. I was asked to lie down on a table that looked like some kind of torture table. My arms were strapped to the table while my legs we fitted with weird massaging/warming devices. This is when I started to freak out a little. The anesthesiologist put an oxygen mask on my face, told me to take deep breaths, "WAIT" I said. For what I don't know, but before I knew it I, felt my eyes roll to the back of my head and thought "Oh F*&K, here we go!" I was out for what seemed 10 minutes. I groggily woke up to a number of Koreans saying "Tippani, Tippani, loll on the bed-uh. Loll ober". After what seemed like 5 minutes later, but what was probably more like an hour I opened my eyes to see familiar faces of my friends and two of my co-workers.
Just like that it was all over.
All in all I'd have to say the process wasn't too bad. The first few hrs post-op were pretty uncomfortable. I had super cotton mouth and my stomach felt like I did 600 crunches at the gym and was subsequently roundhouse kicked in my navel. The pain meds were pretty spectacular so I got a good night's rest. After a few dixie cups of ice chips ( from Family Mart),a half cup of creamy chicken soup, and a pain killer, I've been able to walk up and down the hall and even make my way to the bathroom without help.

I'm looking forward to going home and sleeping in my own bed. But I think I will be taking these jazzy hospital Pjs with me. *They have pockets!
So my band ( she will be named shortly) and I are about to pack up my over night bag and head home. Sending lots of love to my fellow September 29th Bandsters. I hope all went well.


I look forward to the coming weeks and my journey as a banded babe.

Until next time...

Over the Shame Game

What the's deal with the hush, hush, on WLS ( Weight Loss Surgery)! It's not like you're on METH or dressing up like a furry stuffed animal and engaging in sexual actiivites. (Which is fine by me whatever floats your boat)
I mean being FAT in today's society is already a stigma. Now we have shows like The Biggest Loser that captivate America.So what's wrong with giving your metabolism a kickstart?
At first I felt a little uneasy sharing with friends and fam what I was about to undergo. Worried about how they'd react, and what they'd say. But honestly after the knot in my throat and nail biting ceased. I shared my impeding journey with friends and loved ones and they were more than supportive.
So if you're thinking about this surgery and going thorough it ALONE. My advice is DONT. Having filled seats in your cheering section could mean all the difference in your weight loss journey.

It's easy for a person who has never been OVERWEIGHT to pass JUDGEMENT. They've never had to battle, buying  fajas (girdle), getting a seat belt extender on the plane, cutting tags out of your clothes so no one knows what size you wear, Had to pay "Fat Tax" for clothing because " it takes more material" for Plus sized clothing, or had people stare at you when you're eating with that " Are you sure YOU should be eating that?" look on their faces. They don't know how it feels and yet want to give a million and five ways to lose weight.
On that note I'd like to take a moment to share a letter :

Dear Naturally Skinny People of the World,

I, Muffin Top Moxy being a woman of extra proportionate size says " I hope you F*&%ING choke on my muffin top!" I don't need or want your weight loss tips. If you've never stepped foot inside a gym, had terrible eating habits and know nothing of what it's like to be FAT. Keep your opinions to yourself. You slender stature doesn't give you the right to judge my size or look at me with that " Oh you could be skinny if you wanted to be"look.
Just because you watched a few episodes of the Biggest Loser and Losing it with Jillian does not make you a personal trainer nor does it qualify you to give me sound weight loss advice. So go some where and have a Coke Zero.

Love,
Moxy

Some believe having WLS is taking the 'easy way out' or that it's the 'magic answer' ...  they couldn't be any more WRONG! Without dedication, proper planning and having the right tools & knowledge, the process of losing weight for a WLS post-op'er can be quite difficult.
It takes just as much determination if not more to undergo weight loss surgery. It's just like in other weight loss protocol. If you don't stick to it, if you don't work with it. It wont work for you.
So enough with the Shame Game. 
Remember You are doing this for YOU!

Until next time...

Fat Girl Walking

Here it is. Alert the media, someone sound the the icecream truck loud speakers, and roll out the bacon strip carpet! ( I make a lot of bacon references don't I?) It's the day before I get banded!
Fat girl walking, people.
So I woke up this morning with mixed feelings of excitement and nervousness.
I can't believe the BIG day is almost here. My cupboards are stocked with protein powder for shakes, and soup broth. My fridge is empty save, apple juice, a couple bottles of water, skim milk and ice chips! Woop, woop! Sounds delicious right?
All that's left to do is pack my overnight bag,upload a movie or two to my ipad,buy a blender and take those hideous yet necessary BEFORE pics. I havent decided what outfit will display my muffin top in all its moxy goodness.
Hmmm? Horizontal Stripes, spandex, a one piece swim suit, a thong?  Or should I just go Biggest Loser style and take one in gym shorts and a sports bra?  *Shuddering at the thought*.  So many choices.

I heard someone say the Lap Band is a rollercoaster of emotions. I'd have to agree. However let me preface that by saying I'm a WHOLE moonpie. Seemingly hard on the outside but nothing but goo on the inside.  So I tend to tear up  fairly easily.
 I  think just like grief there are  many stages to the Pre-Op LapBand process. No, Im not talking about bloodwork and BMIs, pre-op diets, or the insurance three ring circus. I'm talking about the emotional obstacle course you stumble through. It starts with Excited Uncertainty Monkey Bars: I started by feverishly swinging... researching, joining forums,watching YouTube videos being excited then terrified, next I made my  way to the See-Saw of Doubt: Is this for me? Will the band work for me? Am I strong enough to follow through this process? Can I really do this? Trudging forward I 
Stubbed  my toe on the Swing of Shame:  * Why didnt dieting work for me? Do I accept the stigma assigned to WLS? Do I tell people? Do I not? Will they judge or support me?  Now you  may dart in between  the See-Saw of Doubt and the Swing of Shame, it's only normal, but once you realize that you are doing this for YOU and no one else. It doesn't matter. You are taking your life into your hands and deciding to make a change for the better, for YOU! (So if you're out there stranded on the See-Saw of Doubt, or the Swing of Shame. I'm here to tell you you, I've been there and you have made the decision to change your life. See it through!) and Finally I made my way to the Slide of Acceptance: There's an overwhelming feeling of positivity at this point. As I reached the end of the slide,my feet touched the ground, I stood up proudly, muffin top and all, feet planted firmly on the Platform of Yes and said          "Yup, this is me. I'm doing this!"

The skinny girl inside me did a cart wheel and even my Muffin Top jumped for joy.
A song for your ride down the Slide of Acceptance:

Until next time...

The Waiting Line

Today I looked at the calender and I'm only 6 days away. I'm not as anxious as I was a few days ago.

I recently joined a Lap band Forum and met fellow Bandsters @ http://www.lapbandtalk.com/.

There you can create a profile, talk to others about band related issues, locate a surgeon, and find BandBuddies ( Yay! for my Septemeber 29th Banders: Chula2B, DivaD50, RhiannonM ,and KristininCo) So I happened to pop into a Lap Band chat room and I came across AlienBandit, a fellow waygook and bandster in Korea. It was actually through her blog that I found my surgeon. We chatted for a bit and she reassured me that all the questions I had and anxiety I was feeling was normal. We talked about some of my concerns post-op annd what was to be expected.  It's one thing to hear from you Dr." Blah, blah, blah, you're fat, blah, blah, surgery, blah, blah mild discomrfort! blah blah blah sign here."

It's a whole nother thing to hear it from someone going through the same process as you. Someone who's been exactly where you are at this moment. Especially being banded in Korea,we laughed at the fact that Koreans are quick to call you "FAT!" but the minute you stop mowing down food,they're all up in arms. " You sick? You need to see a Dr. for your healt-suh" Oh Korea!

In the mean time, in between time my muffin top is demanding all kinds of ridiculous snacks. When I tell her NO! She talks back and puffs out proud a s peacock and thats no bueno for anyone.

As far as a pre-op diet,I wasn't prescribed one. I've cut back on my carb intake and increased my protein consumption, even though I wans't instructed to by Dr. K. Better safe than sorry.

Speaking of food, I've never been a calorie counter or one of those psycho daily weighers. Now I have become more concious of what I put in my body. I'm embracing the whole "my body is a temple " mantra. I've heard the saying " Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" . However,there are a few things this girl can't live without. I mean, I'm not going to mow down a pound of bacon fried bacon or anything, but I like a steak every now and then and I cant live without Cheez its ( They are my crack). Only if its just a small  handful.
A balanced and nutirtious diet is key. I look forward to finding creative healthy substituations for high calorie foods that I love.  The Lap Band is not a magic wand, *Poof you're thin!* It takes commitment and motivation. I'm not quitter so I look forward to the challenge.

I've decided not only is this going to be a blog related to my muffin top. and my lapband journey but M.T. and I have also decided to share some daily tunes with you along this journey.

Since the theme of today is waiting, here's Waiting Line by Zero 7:



Until next time...

Inspirations

So I've found  online forums and Lap band support groups. As I begin this journey I find comfort in reading /watching the stories of others. You Tube has a whole nations of digital banders right at your fingertips.
I've been obsessed with watching people's video blogs about their Lap Band journeys.
Some have been amazing and inspirational and others have been down right terrifying!
I know no 2 journeys are alike, but in the age of the vlog it's almost an over bundance of information.
One woman I came across is Newtoy4kt. She is phenomenal!
 You can find her @ http://www.youtube.com/user/newtoy4kt . She's real about her journey, the ups, the downs and the times in between. She talks not only about her physical , but her mental and emotional journey as well. In watching her vlogs, I found myself cheering for her.
In one of her vlogs she posted two quotes I want to share with you.

"What sepereates ME from those who FAIL

 is I OWN this ! I WANT this!"

"You have to be ready for Change. You have to want it! and want it for YOURSELF!"

 I love, love,LOVE Florence and the Machine! So this will be my motivation song. It's a tune even my muffin top can get behind.

Until next time...

Reality of Lap Band in South Korea

 8 days until I'm officially banded! I dont think I mentioned that  I live and work in South Korea, ( yes thats right the land of kimchi and plastic surgery created K-Pop stars) well at least for the next six weeks. I've been here teaching for the past two years. Plastics and perfection are a way of life in Korea. Koreans want everyone to be  beautiful and thin, so you can imagine  the booming plastics industry from cosmetic to bariatric. Apparenly many foreigners come to Korea to have the Lap Band surgery done. It runs about $5,000 USD self pay including the hospital stay. If you are reading this and are interested feel free to check out Dr. Kang and his team @  http://skyenglish.drline.net/
The Lap band preperation process is quite different in Korea. They're also a bit lax on the BMI minimum for qualifying for the surgery.
So when I told a few friends that I was getting banded, there was a subsequent pause and then "...in Korea?   Ummm..ok! If this is something you really want."

Alien band :)

Of course something I want! Yes, I'm having my surgery in Korea by one of it's most renowned  bariatric surgeons. Dr. K is friendly, knowlegeable, and speaks impeccable English, as does all of his staff. His assistant even checks in with me every few days and sends me texts ( so Korean).
So 8 days from now I will put myself in his capable hands and begin my lap band journey.
That being said I cant say I'm not a little worried.  Surgery is surgery no matter how big or small.  I had a strange dream the other night where my lap band decided it didnt like me any more and burst its way through my abdomen Alien-style then proceeded to give me a lecture about food choices.  Someone's sub-concious needs to take a vacay.
But jitters aside I'm excited to be banded.
I've watched youtube videos, looked at before/after photos, joined forums and read  blogs that have inspired  me in the first steps of this journey.
I hope this blog will be as therputic for me as it will be helpful to future bandsters.
Muffin top was excited to share this tune with you. It's her theme song!

Until next time...

My Muffin Top is All That!

So I'm going to address the elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about. FAT!!!
 The bacon munching, sweet tooth snacking, diet coke slurping, only going to eat one Pringle "once you pop the fun don't stop" loving Fat!
So this morning not unlike most mornings, I proceeded to my closet/full length for the Self Esteem Olympics. Opening ceremonies are concluded with me frowning in the mirror, which is followed by the 50 meter you-look-great-in-tights-really! relay, to the 360 degree does-this-skirt-make-my-ass-look-fat? decathlon. Once all is said and done, there my muffin tops stares back at me, it sits proudly, unruly with a with a whole lot of moxy. With the sassy black woman neck roll saying" I dare you to do something about me!" So I  shimmy my way into my never fail "faja" and tell my M.T. to suck it, as I grab my favorite cardi and dash out my door but not before my umpteenth double check in the mirror, to face the world... muffintop intact.
So with my lap band surgery 9 days away, my M.T. and I want to welcome you to

MuffinTop Moxy,

the real life adventures of a girl, her lap band, and her unruly but lovable muffintop!

Here's a magical tune M.T. and I wanted to share with you!
So it is with great anticipation I welcome you to join me on this life changing journey down the Lap Band rabbit whole.
Until next time...