Fat girl walking, people.
So I woke up this morning with mixed feelings of excitement and nervousness.
I can't believe the BIG day is almost here. My cupboards are stocked with protein powder for shakes, and soup broth. My fridge is empty save, apple juice, a couple bottles of water, skim milk and ice chips! Woop, woop! Sounds delicious right?
All that's left to do is pack my overnight bag,upload a movie or two to my ipad,buy a blender and take those hideous yet necessary BEFORE pics. I havent decided what outfit will display my muffin top in all its moxy goodness.
Hmmm? Horizontal Stripes, spandex, a one piece swim suit, a thong? Or should I just go Biggest Loser style and take one in gym shorts and a sports bra? *Shuddering at the thought*. So many choices.
I heard someone say the Lap Band is a rollercoaster of emotions. I'd have to agree. However let me preface that by saying I'm a WHOLE moonpie. Seemingly hard on the outside but nothing but goo on the inside. So I tend to tear up fairly easily.
I think just like grief there are many stages to the Pre-Op LapBand process. No, Im not talking about bloodwork and BMIs, pre-op diets, or the insurance three ring circus. I'm talking about the emotional obstacle course you stumble through. It starts with Excited Uncertainty Monkey Bars: I started by feverishly swinging... researching, joining forums,watching YouTube videos being excited then terrified, next I made my way to the See-Saw of Doubt: Is this for me? Will the band work for me? Am I strong enough to follow through this process? Can I really do this? Trudging forward I
Stubbed my toe on the Swing of Shame: * Why didnt dieting work for me? Do I accept the stigma assigned to WLS? Do I tell people? Do I not? Will they judge or support me? Now you may dart in between the See-Saw of Doubt and the Swing of Shame, it's only normal, but once you realize that you are doing this for YOU and no one else. It doesn't matter. You are taking your life into your hands and deciding to make a change for the better, for YOU! (So if you're out there stranded on the See-Saw of Doubt, or the Swing of Shame. I'm here to tell you you, I've been there and you have made the decision to change your life. See it through!) and Finally I made my way to the Slide of Acceptance: There's an overwhelming feeling of positivity at this point. As I reached the end of the slide,my feet touched the ground, I stood up proudly, muffin top and all, feet planted firmly on the Platform of Yes and said "Yup, this is me. I'm doing this!"
The skinny girl inside me did a cart wheel and even my Muffin Top jumped for joy.
A song for your ride down the Slide of Acceptance:
Until next time...
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