Over the Shame Game

What the's deal with the hush, hush, on WLS ( Weight Loss Surgery)! It's not like you're on METH or dressing up like a furry stuffed animal and engaging in sexual actiivites. (Which is fine by me whatever floats your boat)
I mean being FAT in today's society is already a stigma. Now we have shows like The Biggest Loser that captivate America.So what's wrong with giving your metabolism a kickstart?
At first I felt a little uneasy sharing with friends and fam what I was about to undergo. Worried about how they'd react, and what they'd say. But honestly after the knot in my throat and nail biting ceased. I shared my impeding journey with friends and loved ones and they were more than supportive.
So if you're thinking about this surgery and going thorough it ALONE. My advice is DONT. Having filled seats in your cheering section could mean all the difference in your weight loss journey.

It's easy for a person who has never been OVERWEIGHT to pass JUDGEMENT. They've never had to battle, buying  fajas (girdle), getting a seat belt extender on the plane, cutting tags out of your clothes so no one knows what size you wear, Had to pay "Fat Tax" for clothing because " it takes more material" for Plus sized clothing, or had people stare at you when you're eating with that " Are you sure YOU should be eating that?" look on their faces. They don't know how it feels and yet want to give a million and five ways to lose weight.
On that note I'd like to take a moment to share a letter :

Dear Naturally Skinny People of the World,

I, Muffin Top Moxy being a woman of extra proportionate size says " I hope you F*&%ING choke on my muffin top!" I don't need or want your weight loss tips. If you've never stepped foot inside a gym, had terrible eating habits and know nothing of what it's like to be FAT. Keep your opinions to yourself. You slender stature doesn't give you the right to judge my size or look at me with that " Oh you could be skinny if you wanted to be"look.
Just because you watched a few episodes of the Biggest Loser and Losing it with Jillian does not make you a personal trainer nor does it qualify you to give me sound weight loss advice. So go some where and have a Coke Zero.

Love,
Moxy

Some believe having WLS is taking the 'easy way out' or that it's the 'magic answer' ...  they couldn't be any more WRONG! Without dedication, proper planning and having the right tools & knowledge, the process of losing weight for a WLS post-op'er can be quite difficult.
It takes just as much determination if not more to undergo weight loss surgery. It's just like in other weight loss protocol. If you don't stick to it, if you don't work with it. It wont work for you.
So enough with the Shame Game. 
Remember You are doing this for YOU!

Until next time...

Fat Girl Walking

Here it is. Alert the media, someone sound the the icecream truck loud speakers, and roll out the bacon strip carpet! ( I make a lot of bacon references don't I?) It's the day before I get banded!
Fat girl walking, people.
So I woke up this morning with mixed feelings of excitement and nervousness.
I can't believe the BIG day is almost here. My cupboards are stocked with protein powder for shakes, and soup broth. My fridge is empty save, apple juice, a couple bottles of water, skim milk and ice chips! Woop, woop! Sounds delicious right?
All that's left to do is pack my overnight bag,upload a movie or two to my ipad,buy a blender and take those hideous yet necessary BEFORE pics. I havent decided what outfit will display my muffin top in all its moxy goodness.
Hmmm? Horizontal Stripes, spandex, a one piece swim suit, a thong?  Or should I just go Biggest Loser style and take one in gym shorts and a sports bra?  *Shuddering at the thought*.  So many choices.

I heard someone say the Lap Band is a rollercoaster of emotions. I'd have to agree. However let me preface that by saying I'm a WHOLE moonpie. Seemingly hard on the outside but nothing but goo on the inside.  So I tend to tear up  fairly easily.
 I  think just like grief there are  many stages to the Pre-Op LapBand process. No, Im not talking about bloodwork and BMIs, pre-op diets, or the insurance three ring circus. I'm talking about the emotional obstacle course you stumble through. It starts with Excited Uncertainty Monkey Bars: I started by feverishly swinging... researching, joining forums,watching YouTube videos being excited then terrified, next I made my  way to the See-Saw of Doubt: Is this for me? Will the band work for me? Am I strong enough to follow through this process? Can I really do this? Trudging forward I 
Stubbed  my toe on the Swing of Shame:  * Why didnt dieting work for me? Do I accept the stigma assigned to WLS? Do I tell people? Do I not? Will they judge or support me?  Now you  may dart in between  the See-Saw of Doubt and the Swing of Shame, it's only normal, but once you realize that you are doing this for YOU and no one else. It doesn't matter. You are taking your life into your hands and deciding to make a change for the better, for YOU! (So if you're out there stranded on the See-Saw of Doubt, or the Swing of Shame. I'm here to tell you you, I've been there and you have made the decision to change your life. See it through!) and Finally I made my way to the Slide of Acceptance: There's an overwhelming feeling of positivity at this point. As I reached the end of the slide,my feet touched the ground, I stood up proudly, muffin top and all, feet planted firmly on the Platform of Yes and said          "Yup, this is me. I'm doing this!"

The skinny girl inside me did a cart wheel and even my Muffin Top jumped for joy.
A song for your ride down the Slide of Acceptance:

Until next time...

The Waiting Line

Today I looked at the calender and I'm only 6 days away. I'm not as anxious as I was a few days ago.

I recently joined a Lap band Forum and met fellow Bandsters @ http://www.lapbandtalk.com/.

There you can create a profile, talk to others about band related issues, locate a surgeon, and find BandBuddies ( Yay! for my Septemeber 29th Banders: Chula2B, DivaD50, RhiannonM ,and KristininCo) So I happened to pop into a Lap Band chat room and I came across AlienBandit, a fellow waygook and bandster in Korea. It was actually through her blog that I found my surgeon. We chatted for a bit and she reassured me that all the questions I had and anxiety I was feeling was normal. We talked about some of my concerns post-op annd what was to be expected.  It's one thing to hear from you Dr." Blah, blah, blah, you're fat, blah, blah, surgery, blah, blah mild discomrfort! blah blah blah sign here."

It's a whole nother thing to hear it from someone going through the same process as you. Someone who's been exactly where you are at this moment. Especially being banded in Korea,we laughed at the fact that Koreans are quick to call you "FAT!" but the minute you stop mowing down food,they're all up in arms. " You sick? You need to see a Dr. for your healt-suh" Oh Korea!

In the mean time, in between time my muffin top is demanding all kinds of ridiculous snacks. When I tell her NO! She talks back and puffs out proud a s peacock and thats no bueno for anyone.

As far as a pre-op diet,I wasn't prescribed one. I've cut back on my carb intake and increased my protein consumption, even though I wans't instructed to by Dr. K. Better safe than sorry.

Speaking of food, I've never been a calorie counter or one of those psycho daily weighers. Now I have become more concious of what I put in my body. I'm embracing the whole "my body is a temple " mantra. I've heard the saying " Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" . However,there are a few things this girl can't live without. I mean, I'm not going to mow down a pound of bacon fried bacon or anything, but I like a steak every now and then and I cant live without Cheez its ( They are my crack). Only if its just a small  handful.
A balanced and nutirtious diet is key. I look forward to finding creative healthy substituations for high calorie foods that I love.  The Lap Band is not a magic wand, *Poof you're thin!* It takes commitment and motivation. I'm not quitter so I look forward to the challenge.

I've decided not only is this going to be a blog related to my muffin top. and my lapband journey but M.T. and I have also decided to share some daily tunes with you along this journey.

Since the theme of today is waiting, here's Waiting Line by Zero 7:



Until next time...

Inspirations

So I've found  online forums and Lap band support groups. As I begin this journey I find comfort in reading /watching the stories of others. You Tube has a whole nations of digital banders right at your fingertips.
I've been obsessed with watching people's video blogs about their Lap Band journeys.
Some have been amazing and inspirational and others have been down right terrifying!
I know no 2 journeys are alike, but in the age of the vlog it's almost an over bundance of information.
One woman I came across is Newtoy4kt. She is phenomenal!
 You can find her @ http://www.youtube.com/user/newtoy4kt . She's real about her journey, the ups, the downs and the times in between. She talks not only about her physical , but her mental and emotional journey as well. In watching her vlogs, I found myself cheering for her.
In one of her vlogs she posted two quotes I want to share with you.

"What sepereates ME from those who FAIL

 is I OWN this ! I WANT this!"

"You have to be ready for Change. You have to want it! and want it for YOURSELF!"

 I love, love,LOVE Florence and the Machine! So this will be my motivation song. It's a tune even my muffin top can get behind.

Until next time...

Reality of Lap Band in South Korea

 8 days until I'm officially banded! I dont think I mentioned that  I live and work in South Korea, ( yes thats right the land of kimchi and plastic surgery created K-Pop stars) well at least for the next six weeks. I've been here teaching for the past two years. Plastics and perfection are a way of life in Korea. Koreans want everyone to be  beautiful and thin, so you can imagine  the booming plastics industry from cosmetic to bariatric. Apparenly many foreigners come to Korea to have the Lap Band surgery done. It runs about $5,000 USD self pay including the hospital stay. If you are reading this and are interested feel free to check out Dr. Kang and his team @  http://skyenglish.drline.net/
The Lap band preperation process is quite different in Korea. They're also a bit lax on the BMI minimum for qualifying for the surgery.
So when I told a few friends that I was getting banded, there was a subsequent pause and then "...in Korea?   Ummm..ok! If this is something you really want."

Alien band :)

Of course something I want! Yes, I'm having my surgery in Korea by one of it's most renowned  bariatric surgeons. Dr. K is friendly, knowlegeable, and speaks impeccable English, as does all of his staff. His assistant even checks in with me every few days and sends me texts ( so Korean).
So 8 days from now I will put myself in his capable hands and begin my lap band journey.
That being said I cant say I'm not a little worried.  Surgery is surgery no matter how big or small.  I had a strange dream the other night where my lap band decided it didnt like me any more and burst its way through my abdomen Alien-style then proceeded to give me a lecture about food choices.  Someone's sub-concious needs to take a vacay.
But jitters aside I'm excited to be banded.
I've watched youtube videos, looked at before/after photos, joined forums and read  blogs that have inspired  me in the first steps of this journey.
I hope this blog will be as therputic for me as it will be helpful to future bandsters.
Muffin top was excited to share this tune with you. It's her theme song!

Until next time...

My Muffin Top is All That!

So I'm going to address the elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about. FAT!!!
 The bacon munching, sweet tooth snacking, diet coke slurping, only going to eat one Pringle "once you pop the fun don't stop" loving Fat!
So this morning not unlike most mornings, I proceeded to my closet/full length for the Self Esteem Olympics. Opening ceremonies are concluded with me frowning in the mirror, which is followed by the 50 meter you-look-great-in-tights-really! relay, to the 360 degree does-this-skirt-make-my-ass-look-fat? decathlon. Once all is said and done, there my muffin tops stares back at me, it sits proudly, unruly with a with a whole lot of moxy. With the sassy black woman neck roll saying" I dare you to do something about me!" So I  shimmy my way into my never fail "faja" and tell my M.T. to suck it, as I grab my favorite cardi and dash out my door but not before my umpteenth double check in the mirror, to face the world... muffintop intact.
So with my lap band surgery 9 days away, my M.T. and I want to welcome you to

MuffinTop Moxy,

the real life adventures of a girl, her lap band, and her unruly but lovable muffintop!

Here's a magical tune M.T. and I wanted to share with you!
So it is with great anticipation I welcome you to join me on this life changing journey down the Lap Band rabbit whole.
Until next time...